Day 4 of quarantine.
Day 134 of student voice
Student voice provided by Conrad and Becca
Conrad’s post might have saved me. I’ve realized my anxiety is manifesting in behavior that’s dangerous and harmful to others. If it were up to me, and I’m thankful it’s not, my house would have over year’s worth of food. I’ve tried to go to the grocery store to raid the toilet paper aisle and more than once has my wife Katherine rolled her eyes at that desire.
When I read the story about the person who bought to 17,000 bottles of hand sanitizer, and while he was doing it to profit off the pandemic, I thought we might actually need that many bottles. What makes this worse, I don’t EVER use hand sanitizer. I might be a bit paranoid…Okay, I’m paranoid.
Last night I finally convinced my wife to let me go to the store this morning. I was finally victorious. She told me numerous times I don’t need to go out right now, but she was letting me my anxiety. I had my plan for waking up early and avoiding the crowds.
Then I sat down to read through the journals and there it was: Conrad’s post. After reading it, I sent Conrad a message thanking him for his journal. I’m not sure he truly knows how close I was to doing the behavior he cited. Anyways, thank you, Conrad.
Why did I decide to write today? Today was the day I realized that this break is a lot different than I thought. At first, I treated this like a regular break. I typically sit home and do nothing, except for going outside a bit. This landscape quickly changed when my parents told me not to go hang out with friends or limit it for that matter, and I usually don’t do much of that so it didn’t bother me. What bothers me is the mass of overreactions and paranoid people who go to stores and buy a lot of it out, as I’ve observed in the start of this break. This is not only more dangerous than I feel the disease is but also makes us have to look around the world for more resources than we actually need. It was going normal at first, but I started to realize how boring it became with the thought that I couldn’t go outside, and with our governor closing restaurants, I am running out of places to go to. I wanted to practice a sport I couldn’t play in school, but I had to stay home because of the gym closing.
I appreciate the swiftness of our country to respond, but it’s something my family and I have never seen. My parents showed distress by the response of our government and fellow citizens, considering that SARS(a coronavirus similar to COVID-19 and SARS-CoV-2) and Ebola had spread similarly with sometimes even higher death rates. I’m forced to find new methods to practice or get physical activity while limiting my exposure outside, and with rumors of a nationwide quarantine rising, my mood of boredom and even fear aren’t improving.
I woke up at 11:50 am and stayed in bed because I did not feel like getting up. Today has been such a lazy day. The longer the break gets, the more bored I get. When I tell you I did nothing, I did NOTHING.
I’m writing this at 9:49 pm and I am still so bored. I need to get out of my house but the Coronavirus is keeping me inside. I know, I could go on a walk or find a new show to watch on Netflix, but I feel so disinterested by all of those thoughts. My bucket list even seems boring. I have completed two things on my bucket list so far and I hope to complete more. I hope this pandemic ends soon, but for now, I’m living in what will be history later on.